I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
