just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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