My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
