mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
