Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
