I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
