i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
