he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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