I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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