i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
