Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
