Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
