Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
