Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
