Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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