You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
