MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
pray to the hookup gods
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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