I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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