Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
