I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
