allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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