sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
