We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
