A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
