i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
where are my eyebrows?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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