google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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