Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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