i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
organizing the empties. That sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
