like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
