you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
