i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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