I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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