8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
