Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
