I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
