how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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