1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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