oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
