so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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