worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
