D3 body, D1 cock
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
