I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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