i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
