I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
