Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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