hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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