I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
