Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
