I'm going to jail i love you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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