Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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