I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the raccoons are back...
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