it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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