YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
