He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
