Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
