Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
my liver is dry heaving
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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