I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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