I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
time to smoke my breakfast
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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