Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
