I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
