No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
