My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
